


Do I Wanna Know?

by asmaanixx



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU - Roommates, M/M, au - modern settings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 15:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11900430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asmaanixx/pseuds/asmaanixx
Summary: With his heart skipping beats, Lance licked his lips. Nice dream? Keith thinks seeing Lance like this in his dream, no less, is nice? He’s not opposed to it? Lance shook his head. What the hell does that even mean? Is he just happy that it’s Lance he’s seeing and not some ugly dinosaur? Or is he happybecauseit’s Lance that he’s seeing.Lance stepped away from Keith, and clawing at his face in frustration, stumbled out of his room.No matter which way he dissected it, one thing was certain. Keith was brought into Lance’s life for the sole purpose of torturing him.





	Do I Wanna Know?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm treating this as a sort of crack fic. I have a vague idea of how to continue it if the mood (or the comments) desire. But to be honest, comedy is not my cup of tea so if I do carry it forward, it will become a bit more serious as the characters and Klance's relationship as will be explored.
> 
> That being said, do let me know what you guys think about this piece. :)
> 
> P.S. The title is from Arctic Monkey's song "Do I Wanna Know?". I think it's a really nice fit for the overall theme of the fic. :)

“Have you ever thought about how, given the right knife, you can get inside the mind of a serial killer?” Keith asked as he watched the cold water slowly get pierced by the shiny blade in his hand. He slowly turned it over, entranced by the way the droplets smoothed themselves over the metal. “All it takes is the right knife. A good grip, the sensation of being completely in power...” He removed the knife from the stream and inspected it, turning it around and watching the fluorescent light shine off of the wet, silver metal.

Picking up a clean towel, Keith began cleaning it with single strokes to each side. Being as lost as he was in the beauty of the metalwork in his hand, Keith was completely unphased by his actions, and was oblivious to the absurdity of his words.

His roommate however, well, he was silently freaking out.

Lance, with his arms crossed and body leaning against the marble kitchen counter, had been standing next to his ‘friend’ when he had made his killer remarks. Now Lance would have assumed he would be immune to Keith’s bizarre behavior by now considering they had been living together for two years. But lo and behold, here he was questioning his own sanity and wondering as to why on Earth he had continued putting up with him longer than he should have.

It couldn’t be his friendship because let’s be honest, Keith had absolutely zero social skills when Lance had first met him. (He had to teach the guy basic etiquettes like how to politely greet strangers on the street and how to speak to people at social gatherings; even the ones he hated.) It was definitely not for his help around the house. Lance always wondered how the man managed to survive as he was incapable of doing something as basic as putting his clothes in the laundry. (Every other week the two would end up in a battle of words because Keith forgot to either separate the colors from the whites or he would end up putting too much detergent in the machine.) Keith’s cooking skills played no contributing factor either as the only thing he was capable of doing in the kitchen was putting raw food between two pieces of bread. And even that Lance considered to be a miracle.

If there was anyone who was grateful for having Keith in Lance’s life, it will be Lance’s mother. That woman had tried to get Lance to be a man of God for decades but to no avail. But one mention of Keith, and Lance was reciting hymns and prayers and calling upon all the gods in the known universe to protect him and his loved ones from the clutches of his demonic roommate.

Lance, with wide eyes and raised brows, stared at Keith just a minute longer. There was no doubt it. The mullet-wearing, violet eyed man standing before him was a demon sent from hell. He has to be on a special mission to make Lance’s life miserable. There is no way that a human could do so much damage and yet remain so oblivious to it all. That glint in his eye, that smile - no human could ever look so happy just by looking at a knife.

Keith, as if sensing Lance’s accusations, finally turned around. Lance’s fingers gripped tight around his elbows. He is _not_ going to talk about that soft, happy smile on Keith’s face. He is _not_ going to think about his heart is skipping beats because _fuck_ , when has Keith ever looked so happy before? This is what Lance was talking about! Keith smiling right now is a sin. He is purposely committing acts of crime so that Lance can trip up and be taken to hell along with him.

“Did you say something?” Keith asked, his eyes still glazed over from his thoughts about the blade.

Lance wished he could say whatever was on his mind right now unabashedly, but he knew if he did so he would just end up starting WWIII. Instead, he cleared his throat and said, “I think you should give me the knife.” He extended his hand, palm upward, waiting for the weapon to be handed over.

“Why?” Keith asked, his hand gripping over the handle.

Lance should have known he wasn’t going to hand it over quietly. “Because you know shit about cooking and I don’t want to spend the night at the police station explaining to the cops why my idiot roommate wasn’t trying to poison my friends.”

Keith furrowed his brows and lips tightened, clearly being offended by Lance’s remarks. But then uncharacteristically of him, they quickly smoothed over, and that soft smile from before came back.

“You would really spend all night defending me?” Keith teased, with a tilt to his head.

Lance squeaked, (much to his chagrin), and froze. This is _not_ what he had meant by that statement. And that smile he talked about? Fuck that. It wasn’t soft _at all_. It was definitely the work of the devil because there is no way in hell that Keith’s lips could ever look at that. He is physically incapable of looking kind and loving and Lance has two years’ worth of living with him to prove it.

“No! Just, just give me the knife!” Lance demanded, holding his hand out a little more aggressively.

“Whatever.” Rolling his eyes, Keith handed the blade over and switched positions with the tall man.

Keith, now with his arms crossed and leaning against the counter, watched Lance as he worked on cutting up the vegetables that were laid out before him. Keith raised his brows as he saw the movement of his roommates’ arms, particularly of the muscles located in his biceps. The slicing and dicing, the singular motion of moving the knife up and down, it really made the cloth of his dark navy dress shirt to cling against his body.

“Why don’t you take off your shirt?” Keith asked, making Lance to once again, squeak.

Lance counted his lucky stars that he had been picking up a tomato when Keith had made that comment for he was certain he would have ended up cutting a finger or two if he hadn’t.

“Dude!” Lance exclaimed, his horror being clearly expressed on his face. “You don’t just say something like that!”

“Why not?” Keith asked, confused. “That’s a really nice shirt. There’s no point in getting dirty.”

Keith was being helpful? Now Lance definitely knew something was up.

“What are you trying to get at?” Lance asked, his eyes narrowing at the other man.

“Nothing. I’m just trying to be helpful.” Keith answered, looking away with his eyes closed and shrugging his shoulders. “You’re the one who’s always saying I should be a little more considerate of people.”

Lance still didn’t completely believe him, but he let it pass for now. Straightening his back, he suggested, “Well, why don’t you go be a little more helpful to all the guests we have here? I’m pretty sure they would _love_ to be in your company.” Lance teased knowing full well that Keith hated having to play nice with people he didn’t know.

“Ugh, I thought we agreed you’ll be the people person and I’ll be the supplier.” Keith complained, his head turned in the direction of the living room where all of their friends were currently seated.

Lance sighed. Keith _really_ needed to work on formulating his sentences.

“Well, if my options are having you to suck up and play nice with everyone or run the risk of you _potentially_ killing everyone with your _abysmal_ cooking… I’ll go with option number one.” Lance stated, holding up one finger for emphasis.

Keith rolled his eyes, clearly not happy with how the night was faring out for him.

“You owe me!” He called out as he exited the open kitchen.

“For what! Making sure you don’t go to jail?” Lance shrieked incredulously.

Keith merely turned around and stuck his tongue out at him before he joined the small gathering.

“ _Baka_.” Lance muttered to himself, chuckling a little as Keith soon became enveloped with shrieks and whoops of joy.

It wasn’t much in terms of retaliation against the guy, but at least it was something.

* * *

“So,” Allura whispered to Keith conspiratorially, and sliding up next to him, “tell me.” Keith took a sip of his white wine already dreading the words that will be coming out of her mouth. He had spent the better part of the last fifteen minutes _specifically_ trying to avoid the lady because he had enough experience with drunk women (unfortunately) to know just how giggly and gossipy they can get. “How long have you two been dating?”

Keith bit the inside of his cheek to refrain himself from rolling his eyes. After all, being nice to the guests (no matter how annoying he considers them to be), is the least that he can do for Lance.

“Who?” Keith asked, with a highly sugary smile and batting his lashes. He’s not entirely sure why he did that. He blames the alcohol.

“Why you and Lance of course!” She exclaimed, bouncing in her seat. Keith, on the other hand, had gone completely still.

“Lance and who now?” He asked, blinking slowly as if that would have any effect on his alcohol-ladened brain.

“Lance and you!” Allura shouted with much more enthusiasm than before. She was clearly having the time of her life.

Keith stared at her for a few seconds longer, wondering if she would whip up a _just kidding!_ and remark upon him being uptight. But it never came.

So Keith laughed.

The room stilled and all eyes went to him. He continued laughing even though he had to bend over and hold onto his stomach.

Shiro, who was standing closest to him, carefully slid the wine glass out of his hand, but he didn’t even notice. He and Allura exchanged silent glances, and shrugged. They, along with everyone else were completely out of their depths when it came to handling this situation. No one had ever heard Keith laugh let alone explode into a full blown cackle.

Keith fell over sideways onto the sofa, his one hand punching the soft cushion, while the other remained clutched over his stomach. His laughter which could have rivalled the likes of Cruella De Vil, had made Lance drop the piping hot dish clumsily onto the counter and run into the living room fearing for everyone’s lives. With his oven mitt hands, he watched as Keith’s cackles engulfed the room and put everyone into a trance.

It was truly a moment of pure horror. Lance felt his blood run ice cold but also gained the strong urge to go pee.

“You…” Keith spluttered before he broke into another bout of laughter, only this time he fell off the sofa to land on the floor and stayed there.

Lance felt like his world was ending. Keith was laughing. _Keith_ was laughing. _Keith_ , his roommate, who never found a single thing amusing in his entire life was _laughing_. The apocalypse was truly near.

Lance eyed the entrance door and wondered if he had enough to make it out before Keith exploded.

“Dude, what the hell did you say to him?” Pidge asked Allura, both their feet resting on top of the sofa as if they were afraid Keith was contagious.

“Nothing!” Allura defended. Then eyeing Keith again, she amended, “I think.”

“Lance, is this normal?” Hunk asked nervously, but also hoping he held all the answers to Keith’s bizarre behavior. “Did you finally get around to training him how to laugh? Because if you did, please tell us now.”

“What?” Lance exclaimed, feeling attacked. “No! Why on earth would I teach him how to do that!”

“You could have at least taught him how to stop.” Hunk accused, clearly not having heard Lance’s earlier remark.

“Hunk, I didn’t do anything!”

“I wonder how long he can keep this up for.” Pidge mused, taking out their stopwatch, their previous trepidation now gone.

“Pidge! What did I tell you about treating Keith as an experiment?” Lance scolded, crossing his arms.

“Oh come on!” Pidge shouted. “We all know Keith is a unique specimen. As a fellow scientist, it is my duty to analyze any and all phenomenon that could be considered useful for the advancement of the human civilization.” They proclaimed with a smug smile, and a clasped fist beating their chest once.

“How is _that_ ,” Lance gestured sharply at Keith who was still laughing but now beating the floor, “useful for _anyone_?”

Shiro, sighing, pinched the bridge of his nose. Downing the glass of wine that was in his hand, he placed it on the side table before approaching Keith. Hunk gently pulled on Lance’s shirt, while Pidge gasped, recording the entire incident on their phone.

“Come on buddy, that’s enough.” Shiro said, hooking his hands underneath Keith’s armpits and lifting him to his feet.

It was quite a feat but somehow that movement alone had managed to get Keith to level down from his demonic cackling into snickers and chortles.

“Let’s get you to bed. I think you’ve had enough for the night.” Shiro looked at Lance as if he was expecting a protest.

Lance merely rolled his eyes, and met them halfway, taking over for Shiro.

“Here, I’ll take him.” Lance offered, already looping one of Keith’s arms around himself.

“Are you sure?” Shiro confirmed with a raise of his brow.

“Yeah, it’s the least I can do to make up for this idiot.”

“Okay.” Shiro released Keith into Lance’s custody and joined the rest of the snickering group.

Lance didn’t bother calling Shiro out on his amused smile. He was far too busy flowering at the demonic fiend in his arms.

“I literally gave you _one_ job Keith!” Lance yelled out frustrated, as he unceremoniously dumped the man face first onto his bed.

Lance scowled as Keith, still chuckling, slowly snaked himself further onto his bed. Lance’s fingers once again dug themselves into his elbows as he tried not to think about the way Keith’s ass had risen ever so slightly, almost invitingly. If Lance ever needed any proof, then this was it. Keith is a walking, talking vessel of sin. There is _no way_ that _anyone_ could look that good in a pair of black skinny jeans. How could his legs even _breathe_ in that thing?

Nope. Lance was _not_ going to think about that. And he sure as hell was not going to think about how Keith’s face was buried into the bed and his ass was sticking high, right in front of Lance’s face and -

“Gosh, dammit Keith! Cut that out.” Lance shouted, grabbing a pillow and hitting the man over the head.

“What the hell!” He exclaimed, ruffling his hair.

Lance let out a frustrated groan upon seeing Keith pose even more seductively than he had before. With one knee crooked, his body twisted around and his face _still wearing that_ **_stupid_ ** _smile_ … yeah, Lance was having a hard time.

“Will you stop smiling?” Lance yelled at him, becoming increasingly aggravated as he is unable to understand just _why_ Keith is being so… not-Keith.

Keith pouted. “Why? You’re the one who’s always telling me I should smile a little more. It makes people think I’m ‘a good little kitty’ and not a ferocious monster secretly out to attack them.” With that, (much to Lance’s horror), Keith had the audacity to stretch himself out on the bed. The action, causing the well defined muscles in his back and calves to make themselves apparent beneath the tight material of his clothes.

“When did I ever say that to you!” Lance asked, his blood and heart both pumping too hard for his brain to handle.

“Huh?” Keith paused in his stretching, and raised himself up on his elbows. “You didn’t?”

“NO!” Lance screamed, wanting nothing more than for Keith to shut up and go back to his former lone-wolf self.

“I must have imagined it then.” Keith supplied, blatantly ignoring Lance’s internal crisis.

Keith imagined about Lance. _Keith_ fantasized about having a conversation with Lance. _Keith has taken the advice of an imaginary Lance_ . **_Keith has thought about him and that too in a good way._ **

Lance stumbled back and held onto his chest as he controlled his erratic breathing.

“Are you okay?” Keith asked, his ears perking up.

“I think I’m having a heart attack.” Lance mumbled in a whisper.

“What?” Keith scrunched his face, unable to hear the man.

“I said shut up and go to sleep!” Lance shouted, his feet itching to get out of the room. Walking backwards and standing in the threshold, he gave one last command, “And tomorrow when you wake up, you can tell your clone to fuck off and never come back here again!”

“What!” Keith exclaimed, getting ready to leave his bed and confront Lance about his strange behavior.

“Stay there!” Lance protested holding out his arm.

Slamming his door shut, Lance hopes that Keith, or rather clone-Keith, gets the hint and falls back to sleep rather than come after him. His friends look at him amused as Lance slumps down onto the sofa, completely shell-shocked.

“You okay there Lance?” Allura asked softly, being a stranger to Lance’s dramatics.

“I think my roommate got abducted.” Lance whispered.

“What?” Shiro asked, with a disbelieving chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s it!” Lance exclaimed, putting more force and volume into his voice. Straightening his back, he gained the look of his former excited self. “Last night he got abducted by a bunch of aliens and they left this cheap clone behind. That has to be it!”

“Oh boy.” Pidge said, leaning one side of their head against their fist.

“I’m serious!” Lance exclaimed. “Why else would he be acting so weirdly all day?”

“Heh, maybe it’s just a Keith thing.” Pidge answered, shrugging their shoulder.

“Oh man, oh man, these are so good.” Hunk said, his words being muffled as he took a huge bite out of the naan pizza. “Seriously Lance. This is why you’re my best friend.” He added, plopping himself down beside Lance.

“Because of the free food?” Lance asked amusedly, with a raise of his brow.

“Because of the _good_ free food.” Hunk amended.

“Hey, we’re hungry here too!” Allura protested, her mouth salivating as the heated scent wafted over the room.

Chuckling, Lance said, “I’ll go bring it right now.”

Plates were passed around and with the hot food served, the remaining occupants immersed themselves into a long evening of laughter, gossip and friendly banter.

Lance had sat down with his seconds when Hunk commented, “Shouldn’t we save that for Keith?”

Lance pouted. “Why on earth would I want to do that?”

“Because that’s the nice thing to do?” Pidge supplied.

“Because he’s your roommate?” Shiro offered.

“Because he’s your lo-” Allura was about to finish but was hastily stopped by Shiro who covered her mouth.

“What?” Lance asked.

“Ignore her.” Shiro said, chuckling nervously. Then to Allura, he whispered, “Not now.”

Feeling guilty, Lance lowered the morsel that he had been about to take. Maybe he should go offer this to Keith. Clone or not, he deserved to have a decent night’s meal.

With that thought in mind, Lance knocked on Keith’s door.

“Keith?” He called out, peeking his head slowly around the gap.

Opening the door wider, Lance stood in the threshold and became transfixed. For the nth time that day, Lance wondered as to what crimes he had committed to have gotten Keith as his roommate for punishment. Laying on his stomach, clad only in his black boxer-briefs, was Keith fast asleep. With his slow and rhythmic breathing, he was knocked out to the outside world, and was at peace with the world of his dreams.

Lance walked into his room and closed the open window that was letting in the cold air. As much as he loves the outside air, he loves his life even more and didn’t want to risk an intruder getting in because of Keith’s choice of comfort. Instead, Lance went into his room brought his mini fan over and began adjusting it on Keith’s vanity table. Setting it on medium, Lance made sure that Keith would get ample amount of cool air.

“You owe me.” Lance told a sleeping Keith.

In response, Lance got to see Keith crook his knee into a L-shape, and hug his pillow tighter. Lance swallowed, as he saw the way the cotton fabric hugged Keith’s ass perfectly. Tight enough to show the outlines of his butt cheeks but loose enough to let plenty of air to pass through and keep him cool.

His own face heated, Lance looked away. This was wrong. No matter how much Lance joked about Keith being a seductive siren, he can’t look at the man like that. It wasn’t right. He closed his eyes and swallowed once more. He had to banish any and all thoughts about Keith.

Taking in a deep breath, Lance settled himself.

“You can do this Lance. You are stronger than this.” With one final act of kindness, Lance draped a light blanket over Keith. He didn’t bother tucking him in his entirety for he didn’t completely trust himself being so close to the man.

He shouldn’t have done this, Lance knows that very well and yet, he raised his fingers to tuck in a few strands of Keith’s hair behind his ears. Lance simply couldn’t help but admire how _soft_ Keith was looking at the moment. There were no other words coming to Lance’s mind other than angelic, pure, and serenity. The complete opposite of the verbiage that Lance has quite often vocalized to the man.

“Lance?” Keith grumbled with his eyes still half-closed.

Scared to confront him in this situation, Lance shushes Keith and gently lulls him back to sleep. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re still sleeping.”

“This is a dream?” Keith asked, his brows furrowed.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re dreaming.” Lance agreed, gently patting Keith’s cheek.

“This is a nice dream.” Keith mumbled before he drifted off.

With his heart skipping beats, Lance licked his lips. _Nice dream_ ? Keith thinks seeing Lance like this in his dream, no less, is nice? He’s not opposed to it? Lance shook his head. What the hell does that even mean? Is he just happy that it’s Lance he’s seeing and not some ugly dinosaur? Or is he happy _because_ it’s Lance that he’s seeing.

Lance stepped away from Keith, and clawing at his face in frustration, stumbled out of his room.

No matter which way he dissected it, one thing was certain. Keith was brought into Lance’s life for the sole purpose of torturing him.


End file.
